One Week Later

The time is 12:46 pm as I write this - almost exactly one week after Charlie Kirk was tragically shot at the Utah Valley University. It still seems unreal, that he's not on some college campus right now discussing abortion with a rainbow, crochet top-wearing student. But it is real; he is gone.

I had received a text from a family member that afternoon that he'd been shot, but I didn't know the extent of his injuries. I'd assumed he was in the hospital having the bullet removed before recovering and back on tour. It didn't occur to me that he hadn't made it. It wasn't until a meeting later that afternoon that I was told he was dead.

After the meeting, I went back to my office and began listening to the live news coverage. It still hadn't sunk in. Even as they showed the videos of students fleeing the scene, of security rushing Charlie's body off, into his vehicle and to the hospital, it was hard for me to accept that it had ended the way it had... And then came the sorrow.

Mourning Those We've Never Met

Unlike any celebrity or social media personality that I've known, I still feel Charlie Kirk's absence. The first few mornings after the horrific event, I woke up with a fresh realization that he was gone, reminded that this dear person, and fellow Christian, was no longer with us. The pain is much like the loss felt when a dear friend or family member passes. Even now my eyes well up with tears.

At first, I wondered why his death elicited such great sorrow and mourning but then realized that it was an appropriate response - the best one I could give in these moments so shortly after. Charlie was innocent. Charlie was a husband. Charlie was a father, a son, a brother and a friend. And Charlie was a fellow believer who proclaimed the gospel, often urging attendees to repent and turn to Christ for salvation. Charlie fearlessly did what Christian's should be doing with every opportunity given.

From the Christian perspective, we can rejoice knowing that Charlie is now with Christ. We can draw comfort knowing that everything works according to God's plan (Eph 1:11). However, I still weep for the loss - the space in this world where Charlie once was. I still grieve for his wife and children and the moments they won't have together. And that's okay. After all, it was Jesus himself that wept after hearing of Lazarus's death (John 11:35). Jesus was not a stranger to these emotions. In the Old Testament Isaiah writes that "He was despised and forsaken of men, A man of sorrows and acquainted with grief." (Isaiah 53:3). When I'm overcome with sorrow, I'm comforted by the fact that Jesus himself was acquainted with it and knows how we feel.

Living Well

Even those who disagreed with Charlie cannot deny he lived well. He was a man of great conviction who followed through on those convictions. He stood firm on what he believed but didn't allow pride to prevent changing his mind when presented with facts. He had integrity. He also had a heart for others. When you watch videos of him, the love he had for those around him was evident. No one would claim he was a perfect man, but he had the markings of a great man.

This is why the death of Charlie Kirk has become a tuning fork for my own life, a chance to recalibrate my efforts and attitude, aligning them to those laid out in Scripture. Have I lived well? Followed through with my convictions? Is the love for those around me evident? Have you lived well?

My mind drifts to countless times I had a chance to share the gospel. Riskless encounters, too: waiting rooms, ticket lines, airplanes. I wouldn't see these people again, so who cares if they make a snide comment and tell me to get lost? I think about the times I should've spoken up when someone at work was doing something wrong and call out the behavior. We're so fearful of speaking up but forget what Charlie once said: once we stop speaking up and talking about something, that's when things descend into chaos (paraphrased).

Carrying on the Torch, Picking up our Cross

In the wake of Charlie's death there are a couple of verses that circulate in my mind:

"You have heard that it was said, 'You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those that persecute you." - Matthew 5:43-44

I naturally tend toward anger when something bad happens. I see injustice and seethe with righteous anger. In fact, one of my first thoughts was hoping that they would find Charlie Kirk's murderer so they could exact that justice. But in my shame, I realized that it wasn't just justice... I wanted the person to burn. And that wasn't right. I should be praying for his repentance - not an eternity in hell. My desire should be his unequivocal conversion, not eternal punishment.

"And He was saying to them all, 'If anyone wishes to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily and follow me.'" - Luke 9:23

Many will contend that we must carry on Charlie Kirk's legacy of open discussion and freedom of speech. And we should. It's noble. However, I think it's a mere shadow of what Charlie's entire life's work was all about because anyone who knew Charlie described him as a professing Christian with unwavering faith in Jesus. It was this faith that enabled Charlie to love like Christ did and see his enemies as those to be loved - people to have discussions with. Even as he was being called 'racist' or 'transphobic'.

It was Charlie Kirk's love for Christ that emboldened him to take up his cross and follow Him to the end. Even if it meant putting himself in the path of evil. I pray that we may all be emboldened and carry on with the conviction and courage of Charlie Kirk.