Year 36

The older I get the more I realize we all have a unique journey through life. My triumphs and tribulations bear no resemblance to those of my neighbor, coworkers or closest friends. Even the mundane aspects of our daily lives differ wildly. There are too many variables - too many ways in which God has designed our lives to unfold - and how we approach them. And yet, I think there are lessons we can glean from each other, lessons that are universal in principle, if not in application. For this reason, I thought I'd leave some thoughts here for my thirty-sixth birthday. These are things I've learned along my journey - things I wish I'd known ten or even five years ago. My hope is that someone can use them as they travel through their own life. I've also included some random things to offset the 'heavier' things.

Regarding others:

1. You're really not that great so be sure to extend as much grace to others.

I've always had a prideful streak in me that, if not careful, led me to be critical of others. Rather than give people the benefit of the doubt or focus on what they did right, I would think things like, "Why can't they be on time?", "Why didn't they think of that?" or "I would've never have done that.". Though these thoughts pop up occasionally, it's important that they don't make a home. The grace we've been given should extend to those in our lives. Though Matthew 7:3-5 is primarily speaking of hypocrisy - calling out a sin in someone that we are guilty of committing or actively committing - I think it's a good reminder to us to examine ourselves before criticizing others. People are flawed - but so are we. I still struggle with this from time to time, but thankfully God has humbled me greatly over the years.

2. People will come in and out of your life unexpectedly so appreciate the time you have with them.

Have you ever had a really great conversation with a stranger? Or did you ever find yourself in an unlikely friendship with a coworker? My most recent experience with this was an older woman (70's or early 80's) on a flight to Denver. Her name was Judy and she had been part of the first generation of computer nerds... She worked with computers back when they couldn't leave the desk (or room). She had been in IT, in offices, and in meeting rooms with all men back when women weren't known for climbing for the corporate ladder. I asked her so many questions and she readily obliged. She had lived a full life with adventures... We then talked about my life, and she went on to tell me not to worry about not finding a husband. There might have been a comment about having children on my own, but her point was clear: don't worry, just live your life.

It's so much easier to notice these moments retrospectively, but I think it's important we learn to recognize them when they're happening so we can savor them and appreciate them fully. One of my favorite quotes regarding this occurrence:

"We're all just walking each other home"

- Ram Dass

This quote has stuck with me through the years. I love the idea that while our paths will differ, we're connected in the sense that our journeys cross paths, sometimes run parallel, and often diverge from one another. But each person you walk alongside, even for a moment, is part of your journey home. For the Christian, I'm comforted by this fact. That God in His lovingkindness carefully chose the people whom I would encounter for my walk home. This idea helps me appreciate the moments I have with these folks, whoever they are.

3. Forget the "Self-Love" movement and focus on God's love.

Don't get wrong - I'm a huge fan of self-improvement. However, I think the self-love movement goes beyond that. It veers awfully close to navel gazing and - at worst - seems to be a secular trend that subverts God's word by teaching us to focus on oneself instead of the One who saved us from ourselves. I'll explain how.

We've been told to love ourselves - flaws and all. This can be a positive statement about loving how God made us, but it's quickly devolved into an attitude of loving oneself, including the sin that we should be repenting of. I'm reminded of Hebrews 12:1 -

"Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, laying aside every weight and the sin which so easily entangles us, let us run with endurance the race that is set before us,..."

How can we lay aside the sin in our lives if we have adopted such a radical view of self-acceptance? How can we possibly run the race if we are entangled?

Another side of self-love involves taking care of our needs or not sacrificing our well-being to please others. What could be wrong with this, right? We've all been stretched thin to the point of burnout or not remembering the last time we washed our hair. BUT - like all positive messages, I think we've seen the pendulum swing too far. Suddenly, normal obligations are seen, not as minor inconveniences, but threats to our wellbeing. We may see this when a family member calls needing help as we're heading out the door for our weekend trip to Target and we gripe on the drive over to help. Maybe it plays out when we skip church, citing the busy work week and needing a day to ourselves.

I'm not saying it's wrong to shop or find time to unwind, but as I get older, I realize we're called to sacrifice and give of ourselves as Christ did. I find that it is still possible to overextend myself sometimes, but God usually presents the opportunities as I can handle them. I find that when my focus is not on "How will everything get done!?" but rather an attitude of taking care of everything as God presents it - prioritizing life how the Bible instructs us to - peace follows. I find a rhythm. (Lest you think I've mastered this, rest assured I have not.)

I want to be clear: while we should never think less of ourselves than God does, we should also take care not to elevate ourselves more than God does. While it is true that God loves us - it is despite ourselves and anything we've done that God loves us.

Three Unusual Things You Should Be Praying About

1. That God provide or reveal ways for you to bless your co-workers or neighbors.

2. Asking God to reveal ways you're being distracted from being with or serving Him.

3. Help with revealing the talents that you've been given in order to serve and glorify Him.

Three things I'm loving right now

1. Chile Pepper Christmas Lights.

Turns out, we were decorating with chile peppers long before the poinsettia came along. Using chile pepper plants with their bright red fruits dates back as far as the 16th century and I can't deny that these string lights bring me happiness every time I see them. I recall a show where the main couple dined at a restaurant in which the ceiling was covered in these lights. Since then, I've wanted to go there and sit beneath the glow while enjoying a meal. The string of chile pepper lights I recently bought will have to suffice for now.

2. Working on New Habits.

There are habits that I wanted to get established in 2026 and while it hasn't been "fun" working on doing these new habits, it's been rewarding seeing the fruit from doing them. One of my new habits was tidying every day. I kept it vague so the bar wasn't too high. As long as I pick up a room or do the dishes each night, I get to check that off the list. It's been perfect for preventing me from coming home and loafing on the couch and doomscrolling. It's been such a blessing having this season to work on this.

3. Paying off Debt.

While I'm not loving the process of paying off debt, I am enjoying watching it get lower and lower and then finally paid off in January. This time around I've learned I'm just not the kind of girl that can hold onto debt - even a little bit. It seems to haunt me in a way... I realized long ago that having debt is a risk: If I lose my job or fall terribly ill, that debt doesn't go away. Now, all I see is a liability. However, when you're driving a 20 year old corolla with a worn paint job, the temptation to upgrade is strong. Needless to say, I will be absolutely relieved to own my newer used corolla outright in the next month or so.